This is a selection of the best amusing dating quotations from my quote collection I've been collecting over the years. I'm sure you'll enjoy them!

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again. -- Susan Healy

Never date a woman whose father calls her 'Princess.' Chances are she believes it. -- Anonymous

One good thing about Internet dating: you're guaranteed to click with whomever you meet. -- Unknown.

I only date stewardesses. Or maybe it just seems that way. Women always seem to be showing me the exits. -- Scott Roeben

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -- Wendy Leibman

Lots of women just go out with me to further their careers - damn anthropologists. -- Emo Philips.

I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over. -- Garry Shandling

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? -- Rita Rudner

My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman. Still, I've got another three goes. -- Sally Poplin

(Computer dating) It's terrific if you're a computer. -- Rita Mae Brown

Computerized dating can save a lot of guesswork - but so can a bikini. -- Ed Parrish

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed. -- Bill Maher

I was dating this girl for two years -- and right away the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name." -- Mikey Binder

Sleep with a guy once and before you know it, he wants to take you to dinner! -- Mires Yori.

Yeah, I'm kind of lazy. I'm dating a pregnant woman. -- Ronny Richards.

I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me. -- Scott Roeben

Rumors about me? Calista Flockhart, Pam Anderson, and Matt Damon. That's who I'm dating. -- Ben Affleck

"Do you believe in computer dating?"
"Only if the computers really love each other." -- Marx, Groucho.

My grandmother's 90. She's dating. He's about 93. It's going great. They never argue. They can't hear each other. -- Catherine Ladman.

My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I'm going to tell her I'm dating two different guys : Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer. -- Michelle Landry

These Dating Quotes were compiled by Rob Paul.

Back to the Quotes index, or read some of the dating services reviews.